The story of my Mother’s life has forever inspired me and my siblings and many others as well. Always adventurous, always loving life and living life with elan, I regard the story of her life a journey towards the unknown, her ‘Tryst with Destiny.”
Gita Dasgupta, a 12-year-old girl, full of energy and excitement was running around in the garden of her ancestral house in Mahigunge, Rangpur. The year was 1939 when the story begins to unfold. Rangpur lay on the northern part of undivided Bengal1
Gita was often pulled up by her two older sisters who were serious about their studies as well as their household responsibilities. They reminded her that being a girl, she was not supposed to climb trees or play dandaguli (Gilli danda or Tip-cat) with boys of the neighbourhood. But Gita, joyous and irrepressible, paid little heed!
Her father, Dr. Priyanath Dasgupta, a physician of repute and her mother Amiya Dasgupta used to tell her about the freedom struggle, their emotional, physical and financial support to the revolutionaries, the experience of her father when he was imprisoned for supporting the movement, and about Netaji Subhas Chandra Bose who was kindling dreams among the youth about independence of India. Priyanath, a man of strong principles and deep nationalistic spirit, treated the poor for free. This greatly inspired Gita; she wanted to break away from the confines of home and the constraints imposed on women in a traditional society.
She started training in lathikhyala (martial art with sticks) and chora khyala (self-defence exercise with knives) and joined Rani Jhansi Fauz, the women wing of Azad Hind Fauz formed by Netaji Subhas Chandra Bose2She earned a leadership position, becoming the captain of the local chapter of the women’s army. She was very keen to meet Netaji. The opportunity came when the leader visited Rangpur and young Gita, representing the local chapter of Rani Jhansi Fauz, got the opportunity of felicitating Netaji. She received a gift from Netaji Subhas Chandra Bose himself – a kukri or a dagger – treasured family heirloom to this day.
Gita began accompanying her father to different places he visited to dispense medicine, the most significant of which was the Tajhat Rajbari 3 Priyanath was the house physician of the family. Gita’s friends from school were the granddaughters of Raja Gopal Lal Roy (his daughter’s children) head of the Tajhat Raj family. His son, a strikingly handsome young man, Bhairab watched his nieces play with Gita and her younger sister, Mukti. Gita and Bhairab’s paths met and the latter gradually fell in love with the bright teenager. Due to his premature birth, Bhairab suffered from delicate health and could not take active part in sports, like his older brother, Rabi, a champion sportsperson who had died at a young age.
Bhairab, instead, took great interest in literature, music, elocution and immersed himself in the literary works of Rabindranath Tagore. Bhairab was very passionate about classical and semi -classical Hindustani songs particularly Nazrulgeeti 4 and learnt and practised singing. He had a great desire to meet Rabindranath Tagore which dragged him to Shantiniketan after his matriculation examination in 1935. He was awestruck when he met Tagore and the poet became the guiding light in his own literary pursuits. While formal studies did not appeal to him much, he spent hours in the palace library absorbed in works of Shakespeare, Dickens, Hugo, Dumas, Wordsworth, Byron, Shelley and Keats.
Gita was attracted to Bhairab as well. She admired him for his generous heart, his literary flair, his singing skills and his learned conversations. The romantic relationship blossomed as Bhairab became her mentor and Gita turned his muse.
India was at the precipice of one of the worst tragedies of history. The country was partitioned in 1947, and two separate nations were born. Bengal was divided, the east separated from the west, unleashing violence, and displacement. As many families of the newly formed East Pakistan migrated to India, Gita’s family was forced to move to Kolkata, where many of their relatives were settled. They took up a rented house on Dargah Road, Park Circus in the south of the city. Bhairab remained in Tajhat with his parents because Bhairab’s father, Raja Gopal Lal Roy refused to exchange his ancestral estate in Tajhat for a large property in Jalpaiguri in North Bengal, insisting that Tajhat was his birthplace and his motherland and he would not give them up. This was in spite of the fact that the he was born in Kolkata, had spent considerable time of his childhood here and the Tajhat family had a huge property in Chowringhee Lane, a posh part of the city.
Distance deepened longing and the courtship of the young couple entered a new phase. Bhairab would write to Gita in the morning; the letter would reach Kolkata in the evening and Gita would reply the same evening. Her letter reached Bhairab the next day. They exchanged letters every day over a period of two years.
Bhairab knew that his mother would come in the way of their marriage and would not accept Gita as her daughter-in-law. The Tajhat Raj family had a Kshatriya Punjabi lineage, while Gita was from a Baidya Bengali middle-class family5 The match defied social norms. Going against convention, Bhairab and Gita decided to get married in 1949. No ritual, no social gathering – they solemnised their marriage in a closely held registration ceremony held during a picnic they went on, with a close circle of family members and friends to the Shibpur Botanical Gardens, on the outskirts of Kolkata.
Now no physical distance could keep them apart. Fearing Bhairab’s mother’s strong opposition, they moved to a place called Panchbhaya in West Dinajpur. It is believed that the name of this place was derived from the epic Mahabharata. It was supposed to have been this place where the five Pandava brothers stopped while on their way to Biratnagar in Nepal for a period of one year during their exile in disguise. The Tajhat Raj family-owned extensive property here. Those early months immediately after marriage, peaceful, secluded and filled with companionship were the happiest of their lives.
Raja Gopal Lal Roy was always affectionate towards Gita and wanted his son and daughter-in-law back home in Tajhat. He let Bhairab’s mother have some time to reconcile. Eventually, he prevailed upon his wife and Gopal Lal Roy travelled to Panchbhaya to bring back Bhairab and Gita. Gita had a lot of respect for her father-in-law, was deeply appreciative of his benevolence, particularly of his discreet support for the Indian freedom movement and the revolutionaries at the cost of incurring the wrath of the British Government. When Gopal Lal himself went to Panchbhaya to get them back, Gita decided to return with her father- in-law, though Bhairab was not so eager. Bhairab’s mother finally accepted Gita as her daughter-in-law, who later became her best friend and the greatest support.
Gita was soon well- integrated with her in-law’s family and became everyone’s favourite, the much loved ‘ Bourani’ to the support staff of the Raj family. A daughter was born in 1951 and then a son in 1955. Just before the son’s birth, tragedy struck. Raja Gopal Lal Roy suffered a massive heart attack while traveling on a train to Kolkata and expired. Bhairab and Gita were devastated.
In 1957 General Ayub Khan imposed military rule over Pakistan. The writing was on the wall as unrest spread across East Pakistan. Bhairab was advised by the District Magistrate to leave Rangpur immediately. Almost overnight, the family was forced to go to Raiganj, West Dinajpur, across the border. 6
Bhairab had taken a conscious decision of keeping his family away from the clutter and chaos of Kolkata and had constructed a house in Raiganj with adjoining land and a pond. He thought of starting his own business in dairy and poultry farming. But by this time, the stress and trauma had begun to take their toll on Bhairab. Having been uprooted from his home and motherland and in the process losing everything, led to depression and severe mental anxiety.
Bhairab and Gita had two more sons, born in 1957 and 1958. Their financial condition deteriorated. Bhairab was diagnosed with non-alcoholic cirrhosis of the liver and he was advised to seek treatment in Kolkata. The family moved to Kolkata in 1961. The years from 1961 to 1965 was the worst in their lives. Bhairab was bed-ridden and Gita had to take care of him all through the day and sleepless nights. Bhairab passed away in 1965, leaving behind Gita to bring up their four children with almost no source of income.
However, Gita would not give up; she refused to surrender to the vagaries of fate and decided to put up a strong fight against all odds. She was determined to provide good education for her children and ensure that they grow up with dignity. They joined some of the best schools and colleges in Kolkata. Gita had to navigate her way through the precarious financial conditions, ensuring the children remain untouched. Gita would visit Raiganj many times in a year to sell off pieces of land and bring back money for the family. She had to sell off whatever remaining ornaments she had and she sold off brass utensils too. This was supplemented by support from her brothers and sisters. She encouraged her children to pursue liberal arts, just as she continued her own interests in music, drama, poetry, painting, and photography.
Gita was well bonded with the larger family, both on her parents’ side and her in-laws.’ She would visit them often, and be by their side in times of needs. ‘Mashima’, as she was known among her sons’ friends was extremely popular because she became their friend too.
Her daughter was married off after having completed her education (She was an exceptionally bright student and had her education from United Missionary School, Lady Brabourne College and Calcutta University) and the sons too got married in due course. Then grandchildren were born and Gita was overjoyed, having her grandchildren around, deeply attached to her.
But fate struck again. She developed cardiac problems, met with a severe road accident that left her bed-ridden, developed renal cancer and passed away in December, 2010 just before her 83rd birthday on 24th January. Her last words were “I had ventured on an unknown journey and I am now further moving along that journey, of which I am not aware. I can see your father calling me over to join him. Let me unite with him forever.”
Thus, began her “Abhisara,” her final tryst with destiny.
The sequel to this story will be the history of the Tajhat Raj family to follow
Abhijit Lal Roy is the youngest son of Bhairab and Gita Roy. After completing his graduation with honours in History, he joined a reputed organisation as a management trainee in the Personnel Department. He subsequently completed a post graduate Diploma in Personnel Management from a leading business school in Kolkata. Professionally he made his way up and assumed roles in many different local and multinational companies.
After retirement, he continues to work as consultant in Human Resource Management. Outside his professional work, he is engaged in supporting and spreading value based education among the disadvantaged rural children with his wife Arpita. They both also actively support initiatives taken for social justice. He also organizes cultural events, plays and musical soirees.
Footnotes
- The division of Rangpur, on the north western corner of present-day Bangladesh is about 300 km from Dhaka by road. Before independence and partition of India, it used to be a district, Rangpur being the main town
- It was also called the Indian National Army
- Tajhat Rajbari or palace was the seat of the princely estate belonging to the Roys, a wealthy landowning family that flourished in the late 19th and early 20th centuries
- Songs composed by Kazi Nazrul Islam (1899-1976)
- These were two different castes and intermarriage was frowned upon
- West Dinajpur lies to the north east of Kolkata, about 400 km away
Dada- wonderful read.My pronaam to Masima.
Actually,I never inquired abput your princely lineage.Your parents and mom in particular has given you such an upbringing that your princely stature and humility toches everyone who comes across.